Comparison or Inspiration?

So maybe you’ve noticed that comparing yourself to others drains you.  You go to an amazing party, your host is off the charts.  She’s got the house clean, the food is incredible, the guests fascinating, and on and on… Maybe you leave wondering why you can’t quite ‘get there’ yourself.  Perhaps you beat yourself up because your ______(insert here: party, house, life experience, kids, etc) seems somehow ‘less than’.

How does that comparison make you feel?

Last week I wrote a post about connecting with that moment, with that feeling.  Becoming aware of having the feeling of not being enough is the first step.  Then, rather than stuffing it down, covering it with ice cream, the latest episode of desperate housewives, or punishing yourself with a barrage of insults; just notice the feeling.

And then make a decision.

If comparing yourself to others who are smarter, prettier, thinner, richer, better in whatever way is not making you feel fabulous, then STOP.  Make a choice, in that moment, to see every woman as unique.  The set of challenges you have will be different from hers.  She shines in a totally unique way- and guess what?  SO DO YOU!

So here’s a thought.  When you notice yourself feeling bad about your abilities compared to someone else, use that as a sign that you are ready to discover your own unique skills.  We all have our own strengths, those parts of us that light us up from the inside.  Maybe you are skilled at making people laugh, perhaps organizing is your thing, or maybe you are the hostess with the mostest, and it is easy and fun for you to throw great parties.

Crazy amounts of research has been done on how important learning your strengths and discovering how to use them makes you happier and fills your life with meaning.

There are many tools you can use to discover your strengths, I walk my clients through this when we work together, but a simple way to start is to ask the people closest to you.  I know, it may be a bit uncomfortable to ask your nearest and dearest to tell you the ways in which you amaze them, but I can tell you from experience, it’s also an incredible way to learn your strengths, and give them the gift of telling you how important you are to them- It’s a win-win.

So, in that moment of choice, between comparison and inspiration, which will you choose?

I’ve got Love of Learning, Humor, and Gratitude as toppers in my list- What are your strengths?  Share them below if you dare to go there…

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